Worry is defined as the feel or cause to feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems.
I recently found myself worrying myself to death about my upcoming exam. I was worried so much about passing the test that I did more worrying than study!
For some reason we are automatically programmed to what is or could go wrong. It is easier for us to cave in to that automatic inner voice.
I don’t know how many times I lost sleep over something only to have the situation turn out great. I have found out by worrying a lot, I cause stress and anxiety to myself without even knowing it.
I have always thought being a perfectionist was my strength but I am starting to learn that this can also be a weakness. Lets be honest, things are seldom perfect. Disappointments are everywhere. We put too much pressure on ourselves with high up the skies standards.
“Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing”
I don’t know about you, until recently I never thought I could share my struggles because people would think I am weak. I was afraid they wouldn’t respect me anymore and that they would judge me. For years I struggled with anxiety and depression and nobody knew. I hid it so well, careful not to break down in front of people when emotions overwhelmed. My friends used to say I was the strongest woman they knew. They came to me with their problems and I would encourage and comfort them. Little did they know I was breaking down in pieces within.
Its only until few years back when I was going through the “monster of a storm” when a fellow church goer shared her struggle story with me and how she conquered through it all when I realised I wasn’t alone. That it was OK to be imperfect!
From that day I’ve sworn to share my struggles with those going through darkest times to let them know that someone has been there and that it is going to be ok.
Unfortunately, we live in a world of social media and we are sometimes disconnected from real life. We hide our mess, and we show our best only. Everyone wants people to think they’re happy, things are going well, and that life is good all the time and no one likes to show off the ugly side of their life. We are then caught comparing our lives to those we see on social media and this often leads to us to believe that we are failures, not successful enough, etc.
Imagine if everyone shared both the best and worst moments of their lives. Most of young girls and boys (adults too) out there would know that it is ok to be imperfect. They would not be under so much pressure to be perfect, to have latest gadget, drive that fancy car they can’t afford all in the name of trying to be like their peers on social media.
Sharing your struggle stories helps bring greater healing. It helps you to feel lighter, not needing to pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It helps others to know that they aren’t the only ones that go through tough times. It also serves to form deeper connections with others, as they realize that we’re all learning from this life, that nobody actually “got this”.
Sharing your struggles can inspire others to keep trying.
Thank you for reading and I pray you never lose hope. May all your dreams come true.
Most of us suffer from anxiety and it hold us back from living life: working, studying, traveling, starting relationships, making friends, getting out of house, having peace of mind. If so, you may not know where to start or what’s that first step. Here’s help. This is a list of small but significant changes you can start today to help you managing anxiety. Change happens because of an accumulation of small victories not a single action. Best wishes on your journey.
1. Be grateful.
Make a list of 3 things that you are grateful for, especially things you take for granted, having a job, a supportive family, excellent health, having food and shelter. When we concentrate on our blessings we tend to be more happier and grateful rather than unhappy and stuck on our failures. Start each day with a grateful heart.
2. Take a walk.
Any kind of exercise burns off stress, lifts the mood, and helps you deal with anxiety and panic.
3. Distract yourself.
If you’re analyzing how you feel or worrying about whether you’ll have another panic attack, take your mind off it by doing something else: listen to music, watch a move, read, wash the dishes, go for a walk, talk to a friend. Anything that distracts you.
4. Talk to a friend.
I am a firm believer that talking to someone help. Whether it’s a friend or trusted family member, it can unburden your thoughts. When you are going through a challenging situation, it seems like the challenge is way too big and the situation is hopelessness as you are in the midst of it. talking to someone can help you realise that this isn’t the end, maybe they have probably been through the same challenge and they managed to get through. And because they are not in the midst of all of it, they will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Writing about your feelings can sometimes help you understand yourself and give you a chance to get your feelings out.
6. Remember your fears are just fears.
Panic can make you feel helpless and vulnerable. Try not to buy into the negative cascade of thoughts. See these thoughts as just the panic and not reality.
7. Do something kind for someone.
Just being nice to others lifts our mood. Simple acts like opening the door open, giving someone a compliment, carrying something for someone, asking if you can help someone who looks lost. . . Do these without expecting something in return.
8. Listen to nature.
I took the above picture on one of my hiking recently. Listening to nature reminds me that God is in control. That we do not need to worry about anything. Stop and listen. Appreciate and marvel at what is around you.
9. Remember you’ve been through this before.
How many attacks have you survived? You will make it through this and it will get better. It does every time. Like they say, you have survived 100% of your worst day, you’re doing great.
10. Talk to a professional.
Get help if you’re feeling stuck. Therapy can give you new insights and the encouragement you might be lacking.
11. Think of something positive about yourself.
It could be your smile, your kindness (like me 😊) , or your personality. We all have something positive.
12. Write down your worries.
Then throw then in the trash. Sometimes, we stew and stew and just don’t process what we feel. This gets them out of your head.
13. Always Remember: You are enough. You are amazing. You are loved. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Hey there, My name is Dikeledi and I reside in Johannesburg, South Africa.